Saturday, May 7, 2011

Prom Nightmare

My baby went to her Senior Prom last night.  She came home so excited because it was everything a prom should be.  It was enchanted and mystical, and she was with a boy she loves.

I am so happy for her because she had an amazing once-in-a-lifetime experience.

But you know me:  I didn't focus on her very long; I started thinking of my own Senior Prom.

Enchanted?  Not so much.

Mystical?  Negative.

A boy I loved?  Hardly!

I was in love, but I wasn't allowed to go to the Prom with him.  My parents hated him because they thought he would "teach me bad things".  (By the way, good call, Mom and Dad.  He taught me things that would make you cringe!)

Anyway, my mother lived for school dances and fancy dresses and everything associated with them, so I knew she would cave and let me go with my boyfriend.  I turned down all the requests of the boys who asked me, and I told my mother all about them.  She repeatedly told me,  "You shouldn't do that, or you're going to miss your Senior Prom."

I thought she really played a respectable game of "chicken" in our Prom stand-off.

Guess who won the game.

Yep, two weeks before prom I was scrambling to find a date and a gown.  It turned out to be a lot easier to find a gown.

The only person I could find to take me to my Senior prom was my fifteen year-old cousin, Ricky.

Yes, I went to my senior Prom with my cousin!!!! 

He couldn't drive, so we had to take a limo to the Prom, back in the days when limos to proms were not en vogue.

We arrived at the prom, and I certainly couldn't tell anyone he was my cousin, so I introduced my date as my friend, Ricky, because the last time I talked to him, his name WAS Ricky.  Apparently, though, he had changed his name to Rich, so that's how he introduced himself.

Fine, except that everyone was yelling at each other to be heard over the blaring music, and my friends thought he said his name was Mitch.

Yeah.  It took about 2.5 seconds for everyone in the room to find out that Missy didn't even know the name of her Prom date.

I was so humiliated.  I prayed for a Stephen King's "Carrie" ending to the prom and for me to be swallowed in the flames.

Mercifully, I thought, the Prom finally ended.  We walked out to the limo, which was parked in front of the building where everyone else had to walk, and discovered that the battery of the limo was dead!  I had to go back into the school and call my father.

He came to the school in his station wagon and jumped the limo's battery, right there in front of everyone!!

There aren't even words enough to describe how mortified I was!

Okay, now here's the best part...

We went to dinner after the Prom and I paid because, after all, he was the one doing me the favor, right?

Yeah, what a favor!  When I got home that night and opened my purse, I found out that Ricky, Rich and Mitch had robbed me blind!!!!

So, tell me about your prom.  Was it enchanted and mystical, or did it suck like mine?  (And please tell me if the word "prom" is capitalized.  I wrote it both ways in this post so that it would be correct at least some of the time!)


  1. This funny post just reinforced my lack of regret at deciding to pass on going to prom. I was much too cool for prom (admittedly, I got much less cool when the next several years of my life got so sucky).

  2. I went to both junior and senior prom without a date, with my best friend, Lori. We danced all the fast dances and none of the slow ones...and after each of the two dances was over, we went back to her house, had pizza, and watched MTV (back in the day when it was still all music videos all the time!).

  3. Utter suckage. My mother arranged for me to go with a childhood friend that I did not like. I still cringe when I think about it.

  4. I picked a flaming gay kid because my bf was ummm well as old as my teachers, and in the pix I had hair like Grace in Will and Grace only it was the 80's grace not the 2000's grace and he looked like my brother.

  5. LOL! Mine was awful - went with a blind date!He was taller than tall and utterly dreadful!! Had a good laugh about it afterwards though!

  6. I played it safe, and didn't go at all..Back then two women together would of been arrest time.....All the gay people had a private prom...And our mothers did not approve of gay or prom.....The bad old days..Would be nice to be young again..Be blessed..Love you Just becuz...

  7. Do you ever talk to what's-his-name?

    I skipped it. I pretended I was uninterested, so no one asked. Or, no one was going to ask, anyway! That's... more likely!
    (and i didn't have boy cousins)