I came face to face with the devil.
I always believed that Satan and his minions were all around us and could take any form they wished to entice us to do evil. I always believed it, but I never thought I would be a victim. I have a new opinion after my plane trip to Sin City.
Beelzebub and his sons of darkness were definitely on my plane with me. No doubt about it. They took the form of two children, their mother, and a flight attendant. (And I'm pretty sure one was disguised as a TSA agent, but I didn't spend enough time with him to be certain.)
I had the window seat, my two daughters were next to me, and Danny was across the aisle from us. Two innocent looking children and their mother sat in the row directly behind us.
In all the confusion that was going on when you board a plane, I went to take my medication and accidentally took three Ambien because I didn't bother to read the bottle before I opened it. Half a second later when I realized my mistake, I naturally assumed that I would spend the five hour plane ride in peaceful slumber. But, ohhhhh no, the devil wasn't having any of that.
It started before we even took off. The "kids" were screaming at each other about whose toy, game, book, and anything else you can think of was whose, and the screaming lasted the for five hours. I "kid" you not; I endured five hours of their screaming, and heard not a single "shush" or other word of reprimand from the "mother".
Maybe I could've handled that, but they were pushing me over the edge when they started kicking the back of my seat. That went on for three hours before I snapped.
I broke when the toys came flying over my seat and onto my lap. I grabbed one of the toys, turned around, and whipped it as hard as I could at the "kid's" chest.
Okay, I know that sounds really bad from a forty-two year old woman, but this wasn't a child. Remember, I was dealing with the destroyer of all humankind.
The enemies had me so frazzled that I started yelling at my own kids for no reason. Danny, who was three seats and an aisle away from me, asked, "What is wrong with you?"
I answered as loudly as I could, "Satan's spawn is sitting right behind me!!" Still, no reaction from the mother.
I needed just a few minutes away from all of this to regroup, so I stood up to go to the restroom. That's when the "flight attendant" told me that there were too many people in line and I had to sit down. I started to tell her of my plight with the devil, but then I looked into her eyes and I knew she was another one of "them."
People, I have been to hell and back. I have actually seen hell.
And let me tell you, lakes of fire and brimstone will be a walk in the park for me.