Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hades, Here I Come

I'm going to hell.

This is where those of you who know me laugh at the fact that I just figured that out.  First of all, very funny.  Second, I don't mean the eternal hell, although I have no doubt that pitchforks and lakes of fire and brimstone are down the pike for me.

I mean the thank-goodness-it's-less-than-a-week hell.

This weekend, I'm going to my least favorite place on the entire planet:  Las Vegas.  I am being subjected to this particular brand of hell because my sister lives there and she is getting married Sunday.

The whole fascination with Las Vegas escapes me.  It is hotter than my eternal destination, and if you don't gamble, there's nothing to do.  If I drank, I could buy a six-pack right here in Youngstown, Ohio; I certainly don't need Sin City for that.  And prostitutes just aren't my thing, thankyouverymuch.

I will admit that the casinos are beautiful and I love looking at them; however (and this is probably something I should never tell anybody), I always get trapped in a random casino and can't get out.  When I manage to find an exit door (two hours later), I take two steps outside and have to go back inside because it's 115 degrees outside!  ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN DEGREES! And then the vicious cycle starts again.

One of the last times I was in Las Vegas, I called Danny from inside the MGM.  Of course, I was stranded in there and my feet had blisters on them from the aforementioned escape attempt.  On the verge of tears, I told him, "I hate this place.  It's the most boring place on earth.  There's absolutely nothing to do here!"

Seriously, why would anyone go to that hell hole voluntarily?

If only my sister lived somewhere good, like Gettysburg.


  1. Well missy, we know one thing..You and your sister would do anything for each other!!! You have both live a life of hell since childhood..
    This weekend will be a happy kind of hell for you both. The main thing is you will be together. Be blessed, be happy for your sister, and my cousin...And put up with all the crap that comes with sin city! I hate it myself...But just as you, it's about the sister thing! Congratulations! To my cousin Amie Jo.... Be happy! And missy, I love you just becuz.......

  2. You described exactly my opinion of Las Vegas. I've been there two or three times, never my choice!

    I would go there again, of course, if my sister were being married there. Would a GPS help you find your way out of a casino? giggle

  3. LOL! I would love to visit Las Vegas, just because it looks so colorful in pictures! Our casino's in South Africa aren't cities!! Ha! Hope the wedding is fun and makes up for it! :)

  4. You're not that far...

  5. If there is anyplace on earth I hate more than Las Vegas, I would rather spend a week in an Ebola infected village than one night in Vegas. That said, have fun at the wedding.

    I hate Vegas because of its pretension to glamor and excitement. If you look closely, the glamor is all plastic, even the enhanced bosoms on display every place you look. There's a seediness to the place and there's the disgusting alter of money where all the worshipers end up praying. Ugh! Now, I am actually a pretty loose woman myself. I drink. I smoke. I swear. I kiss boys I shouldn't kiss. (Heck, I've kissed girls I shouldn't kiss too.) But I draw the line at Vegas. It depresses me no end.

    You are such a loving sister to go into the bowels of hell for your darling sis. I wish her every happiness and hope she doesn't go back to Vegas for her anniversaries.

  6. I am with you. Why would anyone ever want to set foot in Las Vegas? Gettysburg, on the other hand, is a beautiful and deeply moving place. Are you a civil war buff?

  7. I have never been to Vegas. I always thought I might enjoy the big shows there. But, good grief, if it is really hell. . . . I don't wanna go!

  8. I have only been to Vegas once, it was 115 and it rained so also 100% humidity, on a motorcycle. We got lost in the billagio the security guard that we found to ask for help was down a deserted hallway was a total dick, we wound up exiting through a vallet door and jumping over some shrubs into the street. Next time I go back it will be December.

  9. Um, I feel the SAME WAY about Vegas. Unfortunately, I have to be there at least twice a year for random events (I'm a corporate event planner). When I'm there, all I want to do is work, eat dinner, go to the damn hotel gym, and go to bed. BUT IT TAKES SO LONG TO WALK THROUGH THE CASINO.