Sunday, May 1, 2011

Folsom Prison Blues

Danny:  "Why are you up at 4:30?"

Me:  "I just can't sleep.  I'm worried."

Danny:  "About what?"

Me:  "The bounced check."

Actually, it sounded more like:  "THE bounced check!"

I bounced a check for the second time in my life.  Sure, I've had overdrafts, but the bank always paid them.  But it didn't pay this one, no sir-ee.  Bastards.  Why would it pay this one?  It was only to the INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE!!!!  That's right:  I bounced a check to the IRS!

And let me tell you about these people:  The IRS doesn't play.  Could they have run the check through a second time maybe?  No sir-ee.  If they had, it would have gone through.  I swear, there were only a couple days that we fell below the check's amount at the bank and as soon as we noticed it, we replenished the account.  (That's going to be my defense in court.  FAIL!)  (This is the part where I call the IRS bastards, but I'm too afraid of them!)

And guess what the NSF fee for the IRS is.  It's certainly not the $30 or $35 like it is at the local Waltrash.  Go ahead, guess.  $50, you say?  NOT EVEN CLOSE!  $75?  WRONG!  The NSF fee for the IRS is a whopping $100!!!

See, I told you these people don't play!

Oh, and the only other check I've ever bounced was in the IRS.  Seriously.

Danny says it's no big deal.

I happen to think Danny is wrong.  That's why I'm sitting on my couch waiting for people in business suits to break down my door and take me to the Big House.

Speaking of the "Big House", there's a new post on my other blog, "The Bank Burglar's Daughter".


  1. Shit happens Missy! Don't give them people any more that you have too...100.00 is a lot of money these days..Be careful...Love you just becuz...

  2. Oof.... I haven't bounced a check yet, don't want that day to come anytime soon. Be careful and have an escape route planned in case those mean men in business suits come by.

  3. I'd be hiding in a closet! I was scared enough double checking the money I knew was there multiple times and had an anxiety attack leaving it at the post office.

  4. Relax, Honey. It's fine. Pay the $100 and put it out of your mind. They don't come and get you until the 3rd time you do it. xxooxx San Quintin Sally

  5. You'll be safe. Took my folks almost 10 years of refusing to pay and sending letters to the IRS what they could to themselves and with what instrument before the man came to haul them away.