Danny: "Why are you up at 4:30?"
Me: "I just can't sleep. I'm worried."
Danny: "About what?"
Me: "The bounced check."
Actually, it sounded more like: "THE bounced check!"
I bounced a check for the second time in my life. Sure, I've had overdrafts, but the bank always paid them. But it didn't pay this one, no sir-ee. Bastards. Why would it pay this one? It was only to the INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE!!!! That's right: I bounced a check to the IRS!
And let me tell you about these people: The IRS doesn't play. Could they have run the check through a second time maybe? No sir-ee. If they had, it would have gone through. I swear, there were only a couple days that we fell below the check's amount at the bank and as soon as we noticed it, we replenished the account. (That's going to be my defense in court. FAIL!) (This is the part where I call the IRS bastards, but I'm too afraid of them!)
And guess what the NSF fee for the IRS is. It's certainly not the $30 or $35 like it is at the local Waltrash. Go ahead, guess. $50, you say? NOT EVEN CLOSE! $75? WRONG! The NSF fee for the IRS is a whopping $100!!!
See, I told you these people don't play!
Oh, and the only other check I've ever bounced was in 1998...to the IRS. Seriously.
Danny says it's no big deal.
I happen to think Danny is wrong. That's why I'm sitting on my couch waiting for people in business suits to break down my door and take me to the Big House.
Speaking of the "Big House", there's a new post on my other blog, "The Bank Burglar's Daughter".