Saturday, April 23, 2011

Carrie Underwood: My Alter Ego

I had a meeting with the Green-Eyed Monster again last night.

Did anyone else watch last night's CMA's Girls' Night Out:  Salute to Women of Country?  We're not really big country music fans, but the performers were so outstanding, we just couldn't change the channel.

You would think that I would appreciate the beauty of their craft.  I actually do, but appreciation or awe weren't the overwhelming feelings I had.  You know me better than that.

It was jealousy; I could actually feel it coursing through my veins!

At one point, I said to Danny,  "Wouldn't it be nice to have a talent?"  He agreed.  We are the most talentless couple on earth.  If you can name it, we can't do it.  Drawing?  No.  Playing the guitar, piano, flute, organ, or even spoons?  Not this couple.  Paint-by-numbers?  Dream on!

I would take any talent, but I really want to sing.  I love to sing, but I'm tone-deaf (I think; I don't really know what that means exactly).

And I'm traumatized by it going back to my childhood.  I was forced to take chorus in 5th and 6th grade, and I was FORCED to audition privately with the teacher for seventh-grade chorus.  I'll never forget Mrs. Price's saying to me,  "Missy, do you really think that's how 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' sounds?"  Biii-oootch, of course I did:  I was AUDITIONING for Heaven's sake!

And my father played his part in the trauma too.  I love to sing, despite my lack of talent, and I especially love to sing in the car.  My father  listened to me as long as he could.  Then I  noticed that he started getting agitated about little things, and he began shifting around in the driver's seat.  Finally,  he said with frustration in his voice, "Honey, please stop singing.  You couldn't carry a tune in a dump truck."

Was he kidding me?!!  He's my father!  He's supposed to think everything that came out of my mouth was on the wings of angels.  In retrospect, thirty years later, I feel sorry for the poor guy having to listen to me.  At least my rough and gruff father tried to soften the insult by calling me, "Honey".

But none of this stops me today from REALLY belting it out in the car.  My current favorite song is "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", and I really get into that one.  Every time I sing the word "low" I move my body down in the seat.

(Someone shoot me.  This is getting really embarrassing!)

And I scream out the song, with the windows of the car down, complete with hand gestures and body movements, every time I play the song--OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

(OMGoodness, this is SO embarrassing.  I have to stop!)

All I ask is that when you see me in the car, or hear me from the car, don't look over.  Just keep on driving, and try not to flip me the bird.

Linda Medrano, I just want to let you know that I'm having trouble commenting on your blog, but I'm still reading, and I'm so very sorry for your loss.


  1. Good early morning reading....I am picturing you in your car sliding down in your seat...I am also finding myself buying ear plugs,if you really sing that bad...The great thing is that God, likes us when we smile, but he "Loves us when we sing"! So, sing on "Sweet Chariot" and keep a smile on Gods face....Love you just becuz... Happy Easter

  2. I love how honest you are! Lol and funny too!! Sing on sweet Melissa! Sing on! (Im not looking!)

  3. just purchase an autotune machine, then you can sound like the black eyed peas, who for the most part cant sing there way out of a dumptruck..

  4. Oh Girl! I love to sing too, but I'm not good at it. My dogs love it however. I make up songs for them all the time and it embarrasses my husband to tears, because when I sing I make up for a lack of talent with a lot of volume. Neighbors be damned. I'll do it my way! And I think we could do a fantastic duet!!! We could just do big country hair and let our voices sour!

  5. Oh my God, I was forced to be in 7th grade chorus and I really can't sing. I mean, I do sing all the time, but not so much publicly for others' sakes. We were required to stand up one at a time and sing in front of the class so she could assign us parts in chorus. And it didn't matter how bad you were, you had to be in it. It was excruciating.

    I wish you would post a video of you singing in your car!

  6. I'm still giggling over the row row row your your boat fumble.. I can't even type this..

  7. I love "Swing Low..." too! And I can't sing it any better than you...

  8. I used to ask my mom what I should sing next.... she always said "Long Ago and Far Away" Geesh, me and Rodney Dangerfield, no respect.

  9. I love it. My 17 year old daughter has the same kind of ear in a family full of singers. She doesn't let it stop her though and belts out her favorites riding her bike down the road! If we saw/heard you we would look over and applaud : )

  10. This reminds me of my neighbor (not that I can sing at all). He drives with his windows down, belting out whatever 70's rock song is on the radio. He just sings and sings!

    He loves it and thats all that matters.

    Cute post!

  11. I have long dreamed of discovering my one true talent, you know, the one that has been there my whole life and I just have stumbled on it yet??? Yeah, I'm thinking at 30+ that ship would have sailed if it was going to but I am still hopeful. Golfing? No. Salsa dancing? No. Perhaps darts? No. Oh well, it's fun to still look I guess!

  12. Hey, I'm at the age where you get to sing out of tune and people pass it off as the eccentric old lady. I say sing all you want and just ignore those who have tone-deaf ears:~)

    BTW don't knock your talent...your writing is very good...there's lots of singers who can't write a word:~)

  13. Hee! I also love to sing and, sadly, don't have much talent. But that does not stop me at all! Even my toddler shushes me when I sing. I feel your pain!

  14. My sister and mom have beautiful singing voices and I do not. I was always a little jealous of that, but its okay because I'll always sing in the car when no one is around to be a critic. You keep singing girlfriend! :)

    Nice post.

  15. Love it lady! And so, so feel your pain! I *love* singing and can't do it well. At all!