Thursday, March 3, 2011

My Backside

Today was one of those skirt-caught-in-your-pantyhose days.

Literally.

I was in a hearing in Juvenile Court this morning and I did a good job, if I do say so myself. After the hearing, Nature called. I went into the bathroom, and when I came out I noticed that the place was packed. I said hello to some friends as I walked down a LONG and VERY CROWDED hallway, and I hugged another attorney that I hadn't seen in awhile.

All of the sudden, in unison it seemed, several women yelled, "Honey, fix your skirt. It's caught in the back of your pantyhose!" Then one of the women actually REACHED OUT and PULLED MY SKIRT OUT OF MY PANTYHOSE!!!!

If I didn't make such an idiot out of myself all the time, I probably would have been embarrassed. It was really a shame, though, because it was also one of those rare wow-I-look-really-good-today days.

I didn't look so good another time the skirt in the pantyhose thing happened to me. (However, I was A LOT younger so my backside looked A LOT better, but that's a different post for a different day.)

That time, I was working as a waitress at a Perkins/IHOP/Waffle House type of place. It was a Sunday afternoon and, as every waitress knows, Sunday afternoons after church are when old people and families with young kids flood the place.

Anyway, Nature called, so I answered Nature's promptings. When I came out of the restroom, I continued working all over the restaurant. About a HALF HOUR later, I had my butt up in the air as I was bending over a booth seat into an adjoining seat to pick up something that had fallen.

That was when an old lady and her husband called me over to their table and the lady whispered, "Honey, your skirt is caught in the back of your pantyhose. We wanted to tell you sooner, but we didn't want to embarrass you."

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS ME?!! REALLY?!!

I RAN into the bathroom and looked in the full-length mirror. Suffice it to say that the entire restaurant got quite the show that day.

Oh, did I mention that I don't wear underwear with pantyhose?

4 comments:

  1. Ack. I cringe just remembering things like this.

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  2. "WOW" sounds like the courthouse is the place to hang out...maybe it's time for me to break the law so i can spend all my extra time there. "A"

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  3. I am so glad I'm not the only one who does stupid, but funny, stuff. I had a friend years ago who had caught the roll of toilet tissue in her pantyhose somehow and trailed the tissue behind her for about a block before someone called her attention to it. Dear God! That was even worse than showing off a pantyhosed fanny! Real stories are so much more fun that made up ones! Thanks for sharing, Darling. You rock!

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