Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who had too many deep-rooted self-esteem issues (which she blamed on her mother) to know that she was beautiful.
But I digress, already.
Anyway, the beautiful princess met a handsome prince and they immediately fell in love. In a breach of fairy tale protocol, the beautiful princess soon became pregnant and gave birth to the loveliest baby in all the land. After a year of arguing over their marital status, the beautiful princess and the handsome prince were married in a moderately beautiful ceremony due to the fact that the handsome prince ruined the beautiful princess' wedding; nonetheless, the nuptials were legally binding. After a brief honeymoon, the couple got into their 2004 Oldsmobile Alero and drove off into the suburban sunset.
They lived in their castle-esque brick cape cod for five years. During those years, the beautiful princess remained true to her marriage vows and tried to be a good wife, despite the opposition she routinely received from the handsome prince.
Then, one day, in another breach of fairy tale protocol, the handsome prince confessed to the beautiful princess that he had been having a 10-month affair. However, the handsome prince "chose" the beautiful princess over the commoner with tattoos and a nose piercing.
Somehow, the handsome prince no longer seemed so handsome.
After much thought, debate, and language inappropriate for a fairy tale, the beautiful princess filed for divorce from the no-longer-so-handsome prince.
The beautiful princess retained her dignity. She also got a great divorce settlement.
And the beautiful princess lived happily ever after.
Post Edit: You have to read the second comment below. It's hilarious, and the class is astounding!