Add this to the list of things you never want to do in your life: search your mother's adult diaper for food.
I guess I should clarify: I don't mean for food for you to eat (which would surpass even the grossness of the plight of the Donner party); I mean for food that she has hidden in her Depends for her to eat because she doesn't like it that you insist she eat only in the kitchen.
My mother has resorted to such subterfuge because she refuses to be victimized by me, someone who doubts her explanation that the rotten bananas (and the accompanying fruitflies) hidden under her bed were spontaneously generated there.
Just so you know, few things will pit a husband and wife against each other more fiercely than the assignment of searching an adult diaper.
Shouldn't the rule be that the one who witnessed the alleged concealment has to search the Depends?
Apparently not, because the one who emerged into the world from the area covered by the Depends in question ended up doing it.
By the way, you probably think that it can't be that hard to catch up to a seventy-one year-old woman with Alzheimer's and two hip replacements running through your house. Think again.
Do not ever doubt that any woman of any age with any physical impairment will run REALLY FAST to protect the chocolate in her pants.