This conversation occurred during a recent visit to my doctor:
Nurse (promptly upon her first glance at me): "Melissa, I can tell you're really happy!"
Me (intrigued by her apparent psychic ability): "Really? How?"
Nurse: "Oh, everyone always gains a lot of weight when they're really happy!"
Me: "How are your children going to feel when their holiday is ruined because a really happy patient pulled a two-pound bag of strawberry Twizzlers from her purse and bludgeoned their mother with it?"
(Okay, I didn't actually say that last part, but I soooo wanted to!)